Photography: Misty Winter

Even writing that title is so unbelievable to me! As I am writing this I can't help but stare at my ring and feel so crazy about this past weekend! Our proposal was featured on How He Asked but I couldn't wait to share the story with all of you from my perspective! 

Saturday, June 3rd, started out like any other Saturday morning. We got up, made breakfast and just hung out for a bit watching the news before I was heading out for a massage that Kollin got me for my birthday that was on May 31st. 

Since my birthday was in the middle of the week, Kollin told me that we would be celebrating with my family the following weekend with dinner in the city. I woke up on my birthday and he gave me my certificate for the massage and said I would get the rest of my presents when we celebrated Saturday. 

I go to my massage and start heading back to the apartment (across the street) to eat some lunch and hang out before we had to leave for dinner. I get off the elevator and go to open the door only to see that it is locked. I found this weird because Kollin told me he would see me after. I unlock the door and as soon as I walk in I see rose petals covering the hallway all the way to our bedroom. 

I follow them into our bedroom and find two envelopes on the bed marked #1 and #2. I open the first letter to find a note from Kollin explaining what was going on - I was going on a scavenger hunt. Clue one said I would need to head up North back to where our Chicago journey began, our first apartment.

The rest of the letter said I needed to leave at 2:30 so I would make the dinner reservation by 4. My massage ran late and I only had about 20 minutes to get ready! I had gone shopping the night before for a birthday outfit and thankfully had everything in mind of what I wanted to wear! I scrambled to get ready trying not to cry from the realization of what was happening and ordered an Uber to take me to the first spot. 

I arrived at our first apartment and walked inside to find our favorite doorman standing with my cousin, Kate. We hugged, laughed and reminisced about living in the building and what had changed. Kate handed me clue two and it described a bridge near the zoo with a fantastic view of the city. I immediately knew the place as it was one of the first places we visited on move-in day. We jumped in the car and headed to Lincoln Park. 

We arrived at the bridge and I made my way through the several bridal parties there taking photos (it was perfect weather and so many people were out). At this point, I knew I should be looking for someone, but didn't know who it would be or where on the bridge they'd be standing. As I got closer, I saw my sister, Ashley, standing in the middle of the bridge holding clue three. We hugged and read clue three together after taking some pictures (the view is too good not to!). Clue three described a place not too far from the bridge that was very special to us and contained beautiful flowers. I immediately knew, the Lincoln Park Conservatory.  I was hoping this destination would be on the scavenger hunt, as Kollin and I loved coming here to escape the city and just enjoy some alone time.

Ashley and I walk into the conservatory to go to the orchid room where clue four was tapped to the back of a bench. We get to the room where he said the envelope was and start looking behind benches (there were four!). We found the envelope and inside was a penny taped to the letter. Kollin said to take the penny and make a wish in the pond I was next to and the next surprise would appear (I totally wished to get engaged!). 

I threw the penny into the pond, made a wish and turned around to find Kollin walking through the door. He came over to me, grabbed my hands, said the sweetest words and asked me to marry him and spend our lives together. 

After a few moments I realized there was a photographer standing by the door capturing the entire moment. After the proposal Kollin said we were going on an engagement shoot before heading to dinner. We went back to the bridge I was at earlier and then headed back to the apartment to take some pictures at our new home on the terrace with the skyline. 

We headed up to our apartment to wait for the photographer to arrive and I FaceTimed my best friend, Lindsey. I wanted to call everyone, but my sister said the photographer was here so I'd have to wait since the photographer was on a time crunch. We head downstairs to go to the patio and Kollin says, "I have one more surprise for you!" In my mind, I thought it was that Lindsey was in town and joining us for dinner. We walked across the patio, up the stairs and down a hallway (I had no idea where we were going!). Kollin opened a door and what came next blew my mind!

So many of our closest friends and family were there to celebrate us, several driving up from Kentucky! We spent the rest of the night having dinner, drinking champagne and catching up with everyone. To say the least, it was the best day of my life and we both felt so incredibly loved! 

I later found out that Kollin had been planning all of this for six months! An entire Facebook page, tons of messages and a lot of sneaking around! I had no clue that starting from the night before people were coming into town trying to avoid being seen by me! Kollin had a schedule of where I would be and what would be happening by the hour (I only went off schedule once after work Friday to go shopping so you could say I'm predictable! lol). Everything went off perfectly and we had such a memorable and special weekend with everyone! I cannot wait to marry my soul mate! Thank you so much for reading, I can't wait to share wedding details and planning with y'all!

If you had told 17 year old me that I would be living with Kollin in Chicago and having the time of my life, I would have had a hard time believing you. In any love story there are times of hardship and character building, ours included. Because we have known each other since we were 14, we have definitely seen each other grow into who we are and have shown sides of ourselves that we aren't proud of.

On September 15, 2016 Kollin and I celebrated our four year anniversary and it was perfect. We always hear from family how much of an example of love  we are and I'm always asked by readers and friends how we managed to get where we are after years of being in different parts of the country.

To be honest, I don't have a solid answer I give everyone. I thought it would be helpful for other people reading to hear the perspective from both of us about what we have done successfully and unsuccessfully as a couple that had to adapt to change often - everyone, welcome Kollin to The Creative Brief! 

The most important lesson I've learned from our relationship:

Amanda:

Since our relationship started at such a young age, it took me a long time to understand that we were both growing up and that believe it or not we wouldn't end up the same person we were at age 14 (who knew?!). There were times where I just needed to let Kollin grow and be himself even if I disagreed or didn't understand and he did the same with me. Letting your partner become who they want in the way that they want is so important. 

Kollin:

I would say taking the time to show affection. A lot of couples are in a rush, us included, and I think it is important to really cherish those moments and let other things wait. 

What I've learned about myself in this relationship:

Amanda:

My expectations aren't always realistic or fair. I remember reading an article a few years ago about how the way you love someone is not always the expectation that person has. Understanding each other's needs and how to best adapt and communicate my expectations was a learning curve for me.

Kollin:

Being cognsant about the little things. Those little things can go a lot further than what you actually think is important. Being a law student, there are a lot of assignments and time commitments that I have after school, but making a point to spend time with Amanda before I begin my studies creates a balanced environment. 

How long distance made me a better partner:

Amanda:

I wanted to talk all the time and would be upset if there was something else that took time away from us. It then dawned on me that I had to choose Kollin over other things, even my own wants so that he could be the person he wanted. His soccer games, studying, fraternity commitments, etc. took away from our time together, but those things are what made him Kollin. Understanding the importance of choosing your partner everyday puts into perspective what is most important. Once I had this perspective, the small things about our relationships became the best parts.

Kollin:

Long distance made me more confident about our relationship because I knew that if we could last long-distance, we could last anything. Having that confidence allowed me to focus on the positive aspects of our relationship rather than the stress of worrying about what the other is doing. Not worrying about negative things made our relationship an easier and happier one.

 

How I overcame the hardest part of our relationship:

Amanda:

Kollin and I agree that being apart was the hardest part of our relationship. Personally, it was difficult to overcome the feeling that I was missing out on experiences with Kollin because we were separated. Having separate college experiences really shaped us into who we are and I am thankful for that today. When I would feel down about it I would focus on the amazing experiences we would have once we were together again. 

Kollin:

Amanda and I created an "agenda" that allowed us to focus more on time together and communicating regularly. Our plan was hard to stick to at times and was often pushed back or cancelled for our various commitments. I realized I needed to just commit and understand that if we both tried hard to fulfill our plan, our hard work would be worth it in the end. 

What I would tell myself four years ago:

Amanda:

Everything will work out, have faith in our love. There weren't many times where I would feel discouraged, but all the hardships came with feelings of sadness. I would tell myself not to worry and that everything I dreamed of would happen and it would be even better than I imagined.

Kollin:

The long distance that we went through before was just practice for where we are now. The effort put in back then taught us time management, which is still important today. Learning the importance of quality time early on was difficult, but something I am thankful for today.

My advice for other couples:

Amanda:

Don't let other relationships or even friends and family members define your relationship. Go at your pace, focus on what is important to you and your partner and communicate constantly about your goals and desires. If you think this person is the person, ask the hard questions and be upfront about what you expect from each other - it makes the actual hard times easier.

Kollin:

There is one thing that good relationships come down to... an open line of communication. If you can communicate well with each other you can get through any bump in the road. Don't be afraid to express your thoughts and desires with each other. 

I hope this was helpful for my fellow long-distance couples and those of you looking for some insight. Every couple is different and in no way do we want to imply that these are rules to follow. Do what makes you and your partner happy! Thanks so much for reading! 

 

Skirt: Romwe | Top: Forever 21 - similar | Shoes: Enzo Angiolini - similar 

| Bag: Michael Kors | Necklace: Dillards - similar 

One of the best things about being in the same city as Kollin is date night! While being apart four years in college, date nights were few and far between (months and months apart). So, when we would make a night of it, we made sure to make it special. Moving to Chicago provided a lot of opportunities for date nights and celebrating our anniversary was one we knew would be extra special. Because of the long distance we have never celebrated an anniversary together. Finally together and on year three, it'll be a night to remember for sure.

I love switching up from the traditional date night dress that many girls seem to grab. There are so many other silhouettes to try! A full A-line skirt adds drama to any outfit and when you add black to the equation - total elegance. When wearing all black I like to bring color into my accessories. An animal print shoe and turquoise necklace are both so fun and perfect for the end of Summer.

Whenever Kollin and I tell someone how long we've been together or our story, they are usually amazed that we made it through while attending college from across the country. One of the questions I always get  is "How do you do it?" or "Isn't that hard?" so I thought I would briefly elaborate on some things that helped Kollin and I for all you girls who are/are going to be long distance!

1) Communicate

This is important for any relationship, but for long distance it is the key. Talking everyday, even if it is just a "Good morning, I hope you have a good day," is what keeps you going. Kollin and I knew that going to college so far away from each other would be hard, but we also knew that we were the type of people that wanted to have our own paths and experiences. School always came first. Having that open communication and being upfront about what we wanted is what made us so strong and understanding of each other's wants and needs - even if that meant talking about our schedules over Skype at 1 am to find out when we could talk that week.

2) Understanding

There are going to be times when each partner is going to have a harder time than the other. Whether it is recruitment commitments, organization meetings, soccer practice or finals, each person has times when their relationship suffers a little bit for those other commitments. The important thing to remember is that life is a balance. As much as you'd like to stay up until 3 am talking to each other, life kinda gets in the way. Having that understanding will help you realize that putting your partners needs before your own is sometimes necessary.

3) Keep it positive

As much as being apart from your partner hurts, theres one thing that Kollin taught me that helped a lot. No matter how much you're hurting or missing them, spreading that around and being negative doesn't make anything better. Instead, focus on the positive and amazing things about your relationship. This will keep you in a good mindset and will honestly make the time go by more quickly. 

4) Surprise each other

Being so far apart, surprises can be harder to accomplish so you have to get a little bit creative. Even the smallest things can make a big impact. During finals I would send Kollin care packages with his favorite candy, cookies and sweets. From a young age we began writing love letters to each other. So, when Kollin would notice I was having a hard time being apart a letter would show up in the mailbox a few days later to cheer me up. Remembering to choose each other daily and focus on the small things will make all the difference. 

For those of you in long distance relationships, I hope this helped and shed some light on what you can do if you're having a hard time with it. Feel free to email me if you have any questions or just need a pep talk! Thanks so much for reading!

                                                                                                     Image via Pinterest

1. I want that, but not yet.

I've been dating the same guy off and on for almost nine years. Most people say "When are you getting engaged!?," when they hear how long we've been together and that we're living together in the city. Well, to be honest... no time soon. Whenever someone I know from school or my sorority gets engaged I am so happy for them and think how great that moment for them is. Kollin and I have always been so open to the idea of marriage and planning our lives together, but engagement has never been on the forefront of our relationship. We are both so excited for that day to come, but we also are so excited for the amazing things that will happen in between.

2. I'm exactly where I want to be.

Every couple is different. When you know, you know. Sometimes it takes 5 years or two months. Kollin and I have a "plan" you could say, but for the time being we are completely content just being excited over going grocery shopping together. Don't compare your relationship to someone else's and think that one path is any better than another. Every couple has an idea of what their plan should be and finding that plan will let you know where you are most comfortable. 

3. It's okay to put my career first.

Growing up in the South I was always surrounded with women who had the idea of the "American Dream" being going to college and finding a great guy, getting married after graduation, having children soon after and finding a career somewhere in between. While there is nothing wrong with that plan, I personally think the "American Dream" is accomplishing your personal dream - whatever that may be. I've always been very career driven and to be honest, it is my first priority in my personal "American Dream." In a world where women are idealized as homemakers and caregivers, why can't we add CEO to that description? 

4. Jealousy will happen.

When logging onto Facebook and seeing a girl I know showing off her amazing ring or an Instagram post of her bachelorette party, I'll admit I'm jealous. What girl doesn't want to plan her dream wedding and experience all the amazing things that an engagement brings? But when thinking about why I am actually jealous, I realized I was jealous of the experience and idea rather than the reality. 

5. I'm not ready.

When someone the same age or even younger gets engaged I think, "I'm I supposed to be doing that now?!" 

Yes, I am in love and feel I've found the person I want to be with forever, but why does that mean it has to happen because I've realized that? To be honest, I'm not ready for a wedding until all parts of my life are ready - finances, career, law school for Kollin, and just time to grow as a partnership. In a nutshell, yes I could marry Kollin tomorrow and be so very happy, but what am I giving up for that just because I love the idea of getting married? Many people who marry young say they gave up nothing and accomplished all they wanted to while married. But, like I said before every couple is different and it is okay that finding the perfect booties for Fall is higher on my priority list than getting engaged lol (kidding, kinda ;) ).

This Summer has been a lot of firsts and changes for me including moving in with my boyfriend, Kollin. Our move in process and relationship is a bit different than the "norm" because we went from dating from 8th grade to high school, 4 years apart in college and now, bam, moving into a less than 500 square ft apartment in Chicago.

To be honest there were important people in our lives that asked if this was the right step, what we really wanted and if it was best for both of us and our relationship. Kollin and I didn't have much hesitation because the four years apart has really proven we've come over large hurdles that made thinking about even being in the same state a no-brainer. 

So, it's been two months and I thought I would share some things we've learned about each other, ourselves and our relationship that we love, surprised us, that we don't like and things we want to change together. Most of these are from my girl-perspective, but some of them are things we both found. 

1. You have to give up some of the girly.

This is almost a given, but going from living in an Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe themed dorm room, pink and green and glitter covered sorority house and a five-bedroom house with five other girls to a 490 sq. ft. one bedroom with a boy is a big change! 

I tried my best to buy things that were gender-friendly, but still had the elegant look I wanted and had his style included as well. During the time Kollin and I were finally getting settled into everyday life, my two best friends moved in together and I had a moment of jealousy. What girl doesn't want an apartment to decorate completely in her style and have the ultimate bachelorette pad?! Luckily, Kollin understands my love for fashionable things and puts up with the weird reasons that I have to have the gold file folders and white silk peonies in crystal vases. Because of having to give up the girly, you're going to miss girl time.

2. You'll miss girl/guy time.

This comes with the territory of moving to a new city and making friends obviously takes time. Kollin is one of my absolute best friends and most of the time knows what I want before I want it, but every girl needs her girlfriends and every guy needs some time to do manly, guy things. No matter how many things you have in common with your man, there are only certain people that you can watch Pretty Little Liars with and talk about lipstick shades with, which leads me to my next point.

3. Have your own time.

When we first moved in Kollin and I spent every waking second together. Our tiny apartment kinda forced that (lol), but we had been apart for so long that we wanted to spend every experience with each other by our sides. During college I thought Kollin was the only person that I could never get enough of. I don't get annoyed easily and it takes a lot for me to get mad (same for Kollin), but with every relationship comes the point where you just need some alone time to do your own thing and spend some time devoted to just yourself. At first, I felt guilty thinking 'I finally have the love of my life everyday and I want time alone?'

But after a conversation with Kollin, we figured out that to be the best couple we can be we need to be the best versions of ourselves and that means doing what makes us happy - even if that doesn't involve each other. It doesn't make you a bad girlfriend or boyfriend to sit back and say, "I need some time to myself and I need to do something for me." Be upfront about your personal needs.

4. Have the hard conversations.

When we first moved into the apartment we didn't have internet or TV for 6 days (yikes, I know). Having just moved to the city, we used a lot of that time running around exploring and site-seeing. But, for the moments we were in the apartment we were found among some time to just sit and talk... and talk and talk and talk. 

I was on Pinterest on my phone one afternoon and found a link to 50 questions (similar website linked) you should ask your partner before you get married. While we aren't in a hurry to get engaged, the questions proved really important to learning more about each other. 

We spent the next three hours talking about things we didn't know about each other, some of which sparked a little bit of differences, some debate and a lot of reassurance of why we love each other. While I thought I knew so much about Kollin, it is amazing what I found out from sitting two feet away from him asking him about faith, marriage, children, friends, stories and funny memories. Some of the answers were a little hard to hear and some questions were hard to ask. But, the outcome of those conversations have brought us so close and remind us that we actively need to be devoting ourselves to our relationship daily. 

5. Choose each other everyday.

When telling people we were going to move in together or talking about our relationship in general, Kollin and I love to ask older couples what advice they could offer us. Pretty much every person says: never stop dating and communication. These two things are pretty regular relationship advice, but one night reading an Instagram post I found something that brought it all together in one phrase. This article explains the author's trouble with his relationship and not actively choosing his girlfriend everyday. What exactly does that mean?

Choosing your partner means actively choosing to focus on the amazing parts of him or her and loving that everyday, rather than focusing and pushing the things that aren't important or that are currently wrong. Focus on what you adore about each other in times of hardship or anger. Focus on what made you fall in love with them and remember that everyday. Ask yourself "Why am I choosing him/her today?" It doesn't have to be an intense or elaborate answer, but focusing on this in your relationship keeps your relationship the focus of your life and gives you fresh eyes on something that may seem like a bigger deal than it is. Choose your partner and his or her love everyday.

6. Remember the end result.

We have all had those moments of weakness where we may say something we wish we hadn't, overreacted or had a brat moment that totally didn't need to happen (totally me sometimes with that last one). I am totally the person that is a control freak and likes things the way I like them. Kollin is way more easy-going and just lets things be. So, of course, there are times where we aren't completely on the same track about everything. 

But, no matter what happens day-to-day in life, remember why you are where you are. Even if the apartment four floors above you floods and it is raining in your apartment [Yes, this really happened!], remember why you're there - the person in the crisis with you who is running from room to room with bowls trying to catch the water from getting on your new white, shag carpet (God love him).

Nothing is going to go exactly the way you want it to and that includes your relationship. So, remember the end result - you are with the man or woman you love and are luckier than millions of other people in the world for that sole reason. 

Thanks so much for reading! xx